Be Me Escape
by The Nearly Missed
Summary: Just another oneshot that leaked from my mind. Kind of grim. Based on the song Be My Escape by Relient K. I don't own the song, nor Death Note. Matt's POV. Read & Review!


I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the song on one of the new English CDs I had leftover from my time in LA. The song faded out, only to be replaced moments later by another song, "I've given up on givin' up slowly. I'm blending in so you won't even know me, apart from this whole world that shares my fate."

I snorted. How true. All my life, I've just been a background figure. Just an uncredited extra in the movie that is the life of everyone else. I don't care how anything goes anymore. Not that I ever really did. I'm going to die eventually, so why worry about what's going to happen in the future? Stress shortens your life. It's all going to come to the same end for everyone. Either to the fiery pits of Hell or the lovely awesomeness of Heaven. Honestly, with all the shit I've shamelessly helped Mello with, the outcome may not be the best for me.

"This one last bullet you mention, is my one last shot at redemption, 'cause I know to live you must give your life away." This just kept getting better and better. When I get out of this car, my life could be as good as over. At my destination, I'll finally have earned myself a bit of merit. By then, I'll have been a vital instrument in the downfall of the largest mass murderer since Hitler. Maybe that'll save me from being condemned to live in that dreadful place for the rest of my afterlife.

"And I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity. And I've been locked inside that house; all the while you hold the key, and I've been dying to get out, and that might be the death of me. And even though there's no way of knowing, where to go, I promise I'm going because oh, I've gotta get outta here. I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake. Oh, I gotta get out of here. And I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I'm begging you to be my escape."

How many times a day did I think about how things would be different had I taken another path? Had I cared about all the shit Mello and Near did? Too late now. I'm leaving this cruel world soon enough, whether it be by the body guards that'll soon be on my tail, or by my own hand after I survive and my best and only friend is gone. I'm ditching Earth; that much is certain. Everything else is only speculation, only a semi-educated guess on what will happen. People are generally predictable, but these are not ordinary people we're dealing with here. They're armed with the single most dangerous weapon in history, the Death Note, along with the possibility of other worldly beings on their side.

And Mello. All these years he's been my only friend throughout my twenty years of existence. I could have made friends, had I wanted to. I just didn't feel that I needed anyone else but Mels. And now I'll be dying for him. An excuse to go on the next world. It'll be worth it though. I'm sure of that.

"I've given up on on doing this alone now, 'cause I've failed and I'm ready to be shown how. He's told me the way and I'm trying to get there."

Going back to my anti-social-ness. This whole plan, this plot I'm taking part in, is one of the first times I've ever worked with anyone but Mels. Sure, I've barely said three words to anyone at HQ, but her. At least they've gotten be to come out of hiding for a moment or two. He's done that to me, Mello. Made me creep out of my cozy and homey shell little by little. Too bad that's all going to be over soon.

"And this life sentence that I'm serving, I admit that I'm every bit deserving. But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair. 'Cause I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity. And I've been locked inside that house; all the while you hold the key. And I've been dying to get out, that might be the death of me, and even though there's no way in knowing, where to go, I promise I'm going because oh, I gotta get outta here. 'Cause I'm afraid that this complacency is something I can't shake. Oh, I gotta get outta here. And I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I'm begging you to be my escape."

Not once can I recall life ever being fair to me. If I put in an effort (yeah, like that's really happened often), I get nothing. If I just sat back and let the world go by... Well, that's how I'm third at Wammy's. Not to mention meeting Mello. Everything else has been the world taking a heaping dump right on my head. From my parents drowning at sea when I was just a kid, to ending up involved by association with the Mafia. And complacency? Forget that. I've known the dangers to every single act of stupidity I've ever committed, and I still feel satisfied with my life. But I guess I should say I'm fortunate. Luck is the only reason I've lasted this long. My parents could have brought me out on that boat instead of letting me sleep. I could have frozen to death in my own house, alone, after living there with no heat in the middle of winter for a week, instead of the police popping in just at the right moment. I could have been in that blast with Mello instead of being the geek behind the scenes. I could have been caught at any time helping the Mafia, then been killed off by Kira. I've escaped death too many times. This time, I'm throwing the fight.

"I am a hostage to my own humanity. Self-detained and forced to live in this mess I've made. All I'm asking is for you to do what you can with me, but I can't ask you to give what you already gave. 'Cause I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity. And I've been locked inside that house; all the while you hold the key, and I've been dying to get out, and that might be the death of me. And even though there's no way in knowing, where to go, I promise I'm going because oh, I've gotta get outta here. I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake. Oh, I gotta get out of here. And I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I'm begging you to be my escape."

Honestly, the only reason I didn't end this shit earlier is because of Mello. He doesn't know it, but he's the reason I endure this entire mess even though I could stop it at any time. Looking back, I'm glad I stayed here so long. I've done some deeds I would never have imagined I would end up doing say, ten years ago. But Mello, he's given me pretty much every good thing I have in my life. He's my best friend; always have been, always will. Even in the afterlife, if it exists.

"I fought you for so long, I should have let you in. Oh how we regret those things we do. And all I was trying to do was save my own skin, but so were you. So were you."

This is where the song took a big left turn. Mello's been my friend since I first was dropped at Wammy's. There's no one else I should have let in. No one that could change the course of my life for the better. My life may have been shitty from some people's perspective, but I wouldn't change a second of it. Mello and I are a package. If one goes, so does the other. While he thinks that he's going to be the fatality in this sequence of events, he's sadly mistaken. I'll be joining him soon enough.

Thinking back, the artist that put out this song probably didn't mean half the things it means to me. Then again, they probably weren't involved with the Mafia or about to kick the bucket. I lit up a cigarette.

I thought all of this within the few minutes it took the song to play. I pulled slowly up to the building, where there was the flashes of cameras and a big block of bodyguards as Takada was escorted in. I shot a smoke grenade out the window and drove off quickly, glancing in my rear view mirror and watching the smoke slowly clear. Mello's bike zoomed out, another black figure on the back. Then the cars were after me.

I floored it. Sped through downtown, until a blockade of cars blocked the way. I skidded the Camaro to a halt. So those cars got ahead of me, huh? How many damn body guards does one woman need, anyway? I stepped out of the car, gloved hands in the air. The dozen or so guards all raised their guns at me. "Hey, c'mon. Gimme a break. Since when was the Japanese allowed to carry around such big guns?" No reaction. "You got me. I'm part of this whole kidnapping incident. That means you'll have a lot of questions to ask. You won't shoot-" They unloaded their rounds at me, and I didn't even feel it as the bullets pierced my vest. I crashed back against my car, and I felt consciousness leaving me. I gave a bitter laugh to myself in my head._ Race you there, Mello._ My heart slowed, until it finally, after these few short years, stopped.

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**A/N: Wow. I just realized how grim this was. Oh well. I'll try to get happier in future fics. ^^ Hope you liked it!**


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